Confessions from the Fibro Fog: writing

Showing posts with label writing. Show all posts

Sunday, April 7, 2013

Free book on CFS treatment

It's been a while since my last post, but this offer was too good not to pass it on - a free e-book on the treatment of CFS available on Saturday, April 20 and Sunday, April 21, 2013. I have not read the book, so I can't comment on the content, but the price is right!

Here is the note from the author, Erica Verrillo, who is also the author of a children's book series, the Phoenix Rising Trilogy:

I am giving away free copies of the CFS Treatment Guide again. Please help me spread the word by posting this announcement on Facebook, on your blog, on forums, or wherever you can. So far, I've given away over 9,000 copies!

Chronic Fatigue Syndrome: A Treatment Guide, 2^nd Edition will be free on Saturday, April 20th and Sunday, April 21^st on Amazon.com The book includes over 100 effective treatments, spanning the full range of pharmaceutical and complementary modalities, an in-depth discussion of symptoms with cross-referencing to appropriate treatments, the latest research into the causes and mechanisms of the illness, doctors' protocols, coping techniques, special sections for managing chemical sensitivities, dietary restrictions and the special needs of children, as well as extensive appendices covering resources, locations of doctors and clinics, local, national and international organizations, and internet ordering information. The book also features over 2600 useful links to further reading, research articles, and patient reviews.

Dr. Charles Lapp, director of the Hunter-Hopkins Center, calls this the book “every patient should have.”

A Kindle is not needed to read this book. Amazon provides free apps that allow eBooks to be read on computers, iPads, phones and other devices.

For more information go to: http://www.cfstreatmentguide.com

Thursday, July 19, 2012

Art Therapy on Orr's Island

Mackerel Cove, Orr's Island

Last week I participated in a four-day plein air painting workshop on Orr's Island in Maine. It was a wonderful experience from the gentle encouragement of our instructor, Marjorie Glick (check out her amazing watercolor paintings at marjorieglick.com), to the perfect weather, to the inspiring landscapes and breathtaking seascapes, to the talented and supportive company, to the graciousness of our hosts, and to the deliciousness of the macrobiotic meals (expect for the succulent soft-shell lobsters we had one night!). I enjoy plein air painting (painting outdoors) and it was a treat to have four whole days to do what I love to do. It was food for the soul.

One afternoon, I was taking a rest on a blanket in the grass. I was close enough to the ocean to hear the sound of the surf. I felt the warmth of the sun on my skin and the gentle breeze in my hair. I heard the wind in the trees and the calls of the crows mixed with the sound of the sea. As I was drinking it all in, I remembered a quote from the Talumd (a collection of rabbi's commentaries on the Five Books of Moses):

Every blade of grass his its angel that bends over it and whispers, "Grow, grow."
~The Talmud

I realized that I was the blade of grass and the whole experience of being in that awe-inspiring place with other artistic souls creating beautiful paintings was whispering to my soul and helping me to grow.

My watercolor of Alison's Beach

I must admit that I had some concerns regarding my health and being able to fully participate in the workshop. First of all, four days of intensive creative work out in the elements could really flare up my fibromyalgia. I emailed the instructor ahead of time and explained my situation. Marjorie was very understanding and assured me that I could take things at my own pace. During the workshop, she periodically checked in on me and made sure I was getting enough rest. Second of all, I was worried that I would be too tired to drive home after four days of painting. Originally I was going to stay an extra night to rest up before the three hour drive, but my daughter unexpectedly came home from camp with mono, and I needed to get home as soon as the workshop ended. Luckily, I had another workshop student with me in the car who helped me navigate and kept me awake with lively conversation.

Most importantly, I was worried about my lack of creative drive. Since dealing with the extraordinary health issues of the last two years - which I've chronicled in this blog - my creative drive has been in deep hibernation. Characters who had once urged me to write down their stories had gone silent. The desire to draw new illustrations was non-existent. While my physical body had mostly recovered, my emotional body and spiritual body were still wounded and in need of healing. When I thought about the workshop, I was worried that I would be a feast with no appetite! I'm happy to report that I ate my fill at the feast - literally and figuratively - and felt nourished by the renewed connection with my creative side. Now that I'm back home, I don't know if the creative juices will continue to flow. In any case, I'm reassured that they are not completely dried up and that the creative well will be there to draw from when I'm ready.

Sunset over Beal's Cove, Orr's Island

Sunday, February 5, 2012

Good-bye, Old Friend!

Rusty in the doggie carriage

Yesterday I had to do one of the hardest things I've ever had to do - put our family dog to sleep. Rusty was a 13 1/2 year-old Welsh Springer Spaniel and he had simply grown old. He had arthritis, he was deaf and he had some ailment that we could never identify. He had stopped eating and drinking. He could barely stand up or walk on his weak hind legs. But somehow, he would make it all the way to the creek-bed at the back of our property and lie in the mud. I felt like he was going there to die, but it wasn't his time yet. It reminded me of the Native American Grandfather, Old Lodge Skins, in the movie Little Big Man with Dustin Hoffman who plays Jack, Old Lodge Skins' adopted Caucasian son. Old Lodge Skins tells Jack, "Today is a good day to die." Then, according to Wikipedia:

Jack accompanies Old Lodge Skins to a nearby hill where the aged, weary leader decides to end his life. He offers his spirit to the Great Spirit, and lies down to wait for death. Instead, it begins to rain. Old Lodge Skins sighs and says, "Sometimes the magic works, and sometimes it doesn't". They return to his tepee to have dinner.

The Final Tour with our neighbors

Well, I had to be the one to make the magic work for Rusty and help him get there as easily and painlessly as possible. Unfortunately my husband was out-of-town, skiing with his buddies in Utah. Fortunately, my neighbors, who are dog-lovers and good friends, offered to go with me and Rusty to the vet. My neighbor, Marianne, told me about the Irish and Italian tradition of taking a deceased loved one around the neighborhood before burial. But she hoped that when it was her time, she would be shown the neighborhood before she passed and thought Rusty should be walked around the block one last time. I told her that Rusty didn't have the energy for a long walk, so another neighbor, Jay, offered to let us use his doggie carriage. So, with Marianne's dog, Spotacus, as the honor guard, Rusty had one more stroll around the block, remembering all his doggie friends that lived in the neighborhood.

Rusty was the cutest puppy ever!

Rusty was a sweet-natured and handsome boy with a white "heart" on his head and red freckles on his nose. Everybody who knew him loved him because he was so sweet and happy. His tail was always wagging and he was a bundle of energy. Even when he was older, people thought he was a puppy because of his playful, exuberant nature. Rusty was a people-dog. He loved to be with his family and often curled up under my desk as I was working.We've had him since he was a puppy, shipped on a plane from his breeders in Illinois. His father was a champion! My kids have grown up with him and will miss him terribly.

Thank you to all my neighbors and friends who reached out and helped me with this most difficult, but ultimately loving task. Last night, I asked my spirit guides for a message about Rusty. I had a dream in which I saw two horses, one white and one black, resting on a hilltop in a beautiful pastoral scene. Then I saw Rusty in the foreground, surrounded by light. REST IN PEACE, GOOD BUDDY!

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

I Can See Clearly Now...

Image by katerha via Flickr...is my theme song for 2012. On Monday I was driving to my health club (just like in my dream) with my daughter when "I Can See Clearly Now" came on the radio. I told my daughter that I love this song and started to sing along. But as I really listened to the words, I started to cry. After finally coming through my "lost" year, the lyrics were speaking right to my heart: I think I can make it now, the pain is gone; All of the bad feelings have disappeared; Here is the rainbow I’ve been prayin' for... Then on Tuesday I was at my health club again waiting for my water aerobics class to start and the first song on the instructor's work-out mix was - you guessed it - I Can See Clearly Now! Of course, I sang along again, but this time I didn't cry, I just smiled. The instructor never uses the same music twice, so this song was a direct message from the Universe to me.

This goes out to all of you who have been prayin' for a rainbow after the rain:

I Can See Clearly Now
by Johnny Nash

I can see clearly now, the rain is gone,
I can see all obstacles in my way
Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind
It’s gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)
Sun-Shiny day.

I think I can make it now, the pain is gone
All of the bad feelings have disappeared
Here is the rainbow I’ve been prayin' for
It’s gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)
Sun-Shiny day.

Look all around, there’s nothin' but blue skies
Look straight ahead, nothin' but blue skies

I can see clearly now, the rain is gone,
I can see all obstacles in my way
Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind
It’s gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)
Sun-Shiny day.

Lyrics | Johnny Nash - I Can See Clearly Now lyrics

Saturday, December 31, 2011

Goodbye 2011, Hello 2012!

Image via Wikipedia2011 was a pretty crappy year - for me, for the economy and for the world which suffered one natural disaster after another. But I had a dream this morning that indicates a better year ahead: I'm at the intersection where I must turn right to get to my health club, but the traffic light is at such a strange angle that I can't tell if it's green for me or for the traffic going the other way. Just as I realize that I HAVE THE GREEN LIGHT, I wake up...So, I'm interpreting my dream to mean that I finally have the green light to go in the RIGHT direction, not only toward good health in my body, but since my health club is named for Henry David Thoreau, one of New England's most celebrated authors, I'm headed in the right direction toward my creative health as well.

Back at the beginning of December, I wrote myself a letter with all my deepest wishes for my life. I am posting it here as my blessings for myself and for all of you in the coming year:

You find love and tenderness in all aspects of your life.
You are free of any negative influence of past traumas from this life or any other.
You are strong.
You sleep soundly and wake refreshed.
You embrace your womanhood or manhood in all its aspects and it is a source of joy and fulfillment in your life.
Your body is balanced and whole.
You move forward in joy without holding back.
Your creativity flows freely in all aspects of your life and brings you and others great joy and fulfillment.
You are safe and protected by the Divine Light at all times.
Your relationships are loving, safe, sacred and engender mutual trust.
You deeply love, respect, and accept yourself.
Your kharma is free and clear.
You give yourself up to the Divine in love and with an open heart.

English: Henry David Thoreau, photograph taken...

Image via Wikipedia

“Friends, they cherish one another’s hopes. They are kind to one another’s dreams.”
~ Henry David Thoreau

Saturday, October 1, 2011

An Awesome Weekend with the Awesome Women Hub Northampton

What would our lives be like if women, or at least the feminine perspective, ran the world? What would the world look like if we collaborated with one another from our essence? How would things shift if we could break down the barriers between generations?

Robin Rice, Shaman and Founder of
the Awesome Women Hub

These are the questions that 30 women (plus even more online) grappled with at a "re-think" tank last weekend sponsored by the Awesome Women Hub in Northampton, MA. We saw a world that was open and loving; a world full of innovation; a world that honored and celebrated our differences. We saw a world that encouraged children to make mistakes in an attempt to find out who they really are and what really turns them on. We saw a job market where people would submit their "essence" resumes that outlined who they are rather than a conventional resume that outlined what they've done. Founder Robin Rice, contemporary shaman extraordinaire, and all the local leaders in Massachusetts created a sacred space for us to bring our true essence to the the table. We created art together and watched as our creation grew and grew with each iteration. We also created a video to honor the powerful young women of the next generation. The score for the video was an original song written and performed by Megon McDonough called "Amazing Things."

You Will Do Amazing Things With Megon McDonough & The Awesome Women Hub

www.youtube.com

Reconnecting with my long, lost college buddy: My friend, Ellen, introduced me to the Awesome Women Hub online. When I found out that she was attending the "tour stop" in Northampton, I decided to go, too. Even though we hadn't seen each other in over 15 years, it was like we had never been apart. All weekend long we kept saying the exact same thing at the exact same time. As we got to know each other all over again, we realized we had many parallels in our lives. I was able to tell Ellen some things I've never told any one else and she said she was honored to be the one I chose to share them with. That's a rare and beautiful kind of friendship.
Making the Amazing Things Video: This was the most fun and most freeing part of the weekend. We broke into four groups to act out different parts of the lyrics to McDonough's song. In our group we did cartwheels, built a human totem pole, and sent out our blessings to the next generation. My friend, Ellen, and I even stopped traffic to twirl around in the middle of the intersection, evoking the fun and freedom of childhood. We stopped young women and girls on the street and included them in our video, too.
Remembering my Essence: It's not always easy to remember who we really are in a world that values what we do and how much money we make doing it. Our souls don't care how successful we are or how much money we make. Our souls want us to be who we really are, to connect with our passion and our purpose. Sometimes I get down on myself because I'm not as successful as an author/illustrator as I want to be. Or that having a career as a writer doesn't bring in the kind of money that I'd like to be able to contribute to my family. But there are times when I'm writing or painting that I completely loose myself, that transport me beyond time and space. Those are the times that I know I'm connecting with my true essence. Those are the moments that feed my soul. A bright young woman at the workshop last weekend named Christine reminded us that when we live from our essence we are a gift to our family, friends and communities. I'd do well to remember that!

Years ago, I participated in another workshop called "Awakenings" with Sharon Turner, a renown psychic and clairvoyant. Sharon said that we all have a Divine Identity - the person God created us to be. Oftentimes when we are depressed or upset, it's because we are living a false identity or an identity defined by others. Sharon had us write down our Divine Identity. She told us to carry it with us and when someone else tries to define us, we can remind ourselves of who we were created to be. At the risk of exposing my true self to the Whole Wide World, right here on the World Wide Web, here is my Divine Identity/Essence Resume:

I am JOY. I am PLAYFUL, CALM, CONFIDENT & POWERFUL. I am CREATIVE, TALENTED, INTUITIVE & WISE and I share my gifts joyously. I have a good SENSE OF HUMOR. I am SAFE and I am LOVED. I am NOT ALONE. I am HEALTHY, ENERGETIC, WEALTHY, SUCCESSFUL & STRONG. I am an ARTIST. I am LOVING, AUTHENTIC, SPIRITUAL, & MULTI-COLORED. I am a BEAUTIFUL, INDEPENDENT, HOLY WOMAN. I am JOY.

Saturday, August 27, 2011

Joy's Got Her Groove Back

I'm calling the last twelve months my "lost" year. Not only did I loose all my time and energy in dealing with one health crisis after another, but I lost myself as well. I've been working diligently to reconnect with my personal power, to revive my creative drive and to remember who I really am - a Powerful Creative Being! I've gone on shamanic journeys to retrieve my soul. I've traveled to fun and exotic places to rejuvenate myself. I've worked with my therapist to face my fears and heal my emotional being. And I'm happy to report that it's paying off. I finally feel the call to create; I'm energized by my creative projects and I'm excited about what I'm working on. Let me give you two examples.

My illustration for "Rivkah and the Mice"

Last winter, my rabbi asked me to be on the editorial board to revive our synagogue's literary magazine, Lichora, which has been on hiatus for quite awhile. The board decided to get our first issue out in time for the High Holidays (which are quickly approaching). I wanted to write about the spiritual journey I've taken through my "lost" year, and I told the editor that I would submit an article. But I just didn't have it in me to write the damn thing. Then one morning I woke up and the whole thing came pouring out of me. Still, the rough draft sat on my desk for months. With the deadline looming, I decided it was time to face the empty page and write my article, which has been very cathartic. I could feel my excitement and energy returning as I worked on draft after draft. I also had fun collaborating with my son on a photographic illustration. I had the image in my mind, but not the computer skills to create it. Since my son is studying digital imaging at the College of Arts and Architecture at Penn State, he is a wiz with manipulating images on the computer. He was able to take my vision and make it a reality. As soon as he finishes refining the image, I'll be ready to submit my article and photo illustration to the board.

A few months ago, the leader of my writing critique group brought in an article from the Children's Writer newsletter called "Celebrating Jewish Identity in Books." The article listed the needs of several Jewish publishers and agents, which inspired me to resuscitate a story I had written years ago called "Rivkah and the Mice." Back in 2004, Rivkah won a writing contest for Best Picture Book. Part of the award was the chance for four editors, two from Jewish publishers and two from mainstream publishers, to review my manuscript and dummy for publication. I had such high hopes! But Rivkah received only rejections and she was relegated to the back of my basement. I was so disappointed that Rivkah may never become a full-color picture book for children. But now I'm hopeful again and I've had fun revisiting Rivkah and all the colorful characters in her village. Even if Rivkah receives rejections again, revisiting her has revived my hopeful, creative nature.

So, to recap: reviving Lichora and revisiting Rivkah has resuscitated my drive and reminded me of who I really am. How's that for alliteration?

Laughing and crying, you know it's the same release. Joni Mitchell

Sunday, April 7, 2013

Thursday, July 19, 2012

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Sunday, February 5, 2012

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

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Saturday, December 31, 2011

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Saturday, October 1, 2011

Three Awesome Things I experienced last weekend:

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Saturday, August 27, 2011

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